The Holiday Disease
Short Story By, J. M. Lilin
It’s as if the New Year was only yesterday. Now it’s time for the holidays to start the yearly explosion that spreads the airborne, extremely contagious, holiday disease. The symptoms begin right after Thanksgiving, the day after that special Friday that everyone brave enough, decides to go shopping. This is how the disease is born.
The first home to catch it will be clear. It will be the home that is the first to put up dazzling and flashing lights that are either multiple colors or just one, vivid and undiminished color. They may also put up décor of Father Christmas, yetis, penguins, polar bears, and maybe if their crazy enough…the abominable snowman.
The Holiday Disease is one of the most contagious diseases in the world and it becomes more and more powerful and contagious every year. It is getting to the point where for some people, its unavoidable. It’s an airborne disease too because almost right away, the next house thinks, “Oh, I should probably do that too. Whoo-hoo!”
Next thing you know, it’s a battle for who can make their home shine the brightest in the night. As the symptoms unfurl and get to the point that the disease is too powerful to defeat, the home adds more and more lights. They add lights until it almost hurts to look at it, and they add more and more décor until there isn’t another space left for another miniature Santa Clause or freezing penguin.
Whew! Finished…right? Wrong! We are only at the beginning of the Holiday disease. The symptoms continue. Now, with nothing else to decorate on their home, they start to decorate the inside of their home. This is when that Elf on the Shelf magically pops up in different places every morning, some of them being a little suspicious.
The home starts to put up old family pictures from past Christmas years. The speaker is put up that plays Christmas music and jingle bells that will haunt your head for days and days, maybe even weeks, or if your one of those people, it could be the rest of the month!
The last step to finish inside is to actually go out and they pick their perfectly cut Christmas tree. Going back home, with Jingle Bells playing, and a home blazing, they decorate the tree. Starting from the bottom of the tree, they put up multi-colored, blinking lights and then the fake icicles, little, gleaming and glittery globes, favorite movie characters, and those hand-made ornaments go up next.
Again, this is the part where you’d start to think, “Okay, this is it, the disease has finished, and this is finally going to stop.” Nope. Your wrong again. They’ve still got a bit of a Holiday Disease journey left to go. Now, they decorate themselves!
With the excuse that it’s just some early Christmas gifts, they get ugly Christmas sweaters, matching pajamas, winter jewelry, some winter boots, Christmas star earrings, a ‘Grinch’ cap, and who knows what else. To top that all off, they also get some antlers for their car.
Then, with nothing else to decorate, they begin to bake! They make sugar-cookies shaped as Santa Clause, or Christmas Trees. They don’t really mind if the cookies taste bad right now. They just want them to look pretty, and if one happens to fall apart, they can always say that it’s just a specially, unique snowflake.
They make bread, and pies and let their home fill with the delicious smells of freshly baked food. By this time, the children or pets, whichever they have, are drawn to the kitchen. The children, with a cookie in hand, are taken to drop their letters to Santa in the mailbox. The pet, has it worst. Cat, dog, or whatever you might have, even a bearded dragon lizard, are kidnapped!
They are kidnapped by their caretaker and taken to the closet. This is where their owner takes that miniature sweater, the one that the care-taker themselves would never wear, the one that itches a ton, but can sometimes still be adorable. They take ta sweater and force it right over Mr. or Mrs. Sparkles head.
Now, the disease has finally and completely taken its course. The home is completely gone and wild with the disease. Their home is decorated both out and in, their car is decorated, the plants outside are decorated, they, themselves are decorated, the pets are decorated, and the burnt cookies on the counter are decorated.
Content and proud of what they accomplished during their Holiday Disease, they sit down, a giant smile on their face…and they pass out. Usually, they’ll either dream about their car with antlers coming to life or maybe dancing snowmen named Frosty, but either way, they finally get some sleep, preparing themselves, mentally and physically, for all of their family to come visit them.
Thank you for reading this writing by J. M. Lilin on, The Unsigned Writer. If you’re enjoying this site, leave a like, and subscribe for more!